Flipdingo | Hoquiam

So here is my iPod on Ebay:

It’s probably
all my fault. Poor choices in youth,
and indiscriminate spending on beer,
mexican food and bowling
parties.
The late night trips to Tower Records to scarf up the
latest euro-pop or some other musical wizardry
were part of my downfall, and the iPod seems to wrap
all these things into one small, portable package.
The promise is so sexy and exciting. All your music at your hip,
at the ready to impress the ladies, or the
other boys. You can take your entire record collection with
you to the local pub for iPod DJ Night, trying to
win some free beer and maybe a companion later in your bed.

But the reality hits you hard, driving down the road lost in your music,
hugging the turns, singing along with Peter Gabriel or Kelly Clarkson,
and then, when you least expect it, “Sunshine on My Shoulders” gets thrown into
the mix and you start to cry like a little girl. What was he thinking?
Flying around in that experimental “airplane”.There were so many more songs
to sing,
another stand of trees to save, more Muppets to dance with, but no.
John Denver really is dead.
So is Kurt Cobain, and Stevie Ray Vaughn, and all those other magicians of sound
and emotion.
It’s just too much to take at 60 miles an hour.

All that
music from a different time in my life. 15 Gigs of it!
I think my all time high of disk usage was 13.05 Gigs. 7 days
worth of music, and only some of it made me feel good.

Seems like
the only thing I can listen to lately without being
reminded of the dark past is the latest Death Cab for Cutie album
and I can put 4 copies of that on my Shuffle.

This is my
reality with my iPod.

That and
it hates me.

It says it’s
charging:

But, is it really charging?

I tried to
solve the battery issue by installing a new battery
only to mar the edges of this sleek white beast:

I thought
I was following the directions, but my butter knife
was at some suboptimal angle. Damn those industrial designers!

So if you
want this power supply confused, purveyor of your
own mix of emotional grave robbing, bid away.

You also
get a dock:

But no headphones.
Mine are all covered with a film
of my earwax and I don’t want to share.

Here’s another
picture for posterity:

The lights
all light up and stuff:

It’s not
like I can’t go on to iTunes store and stock up
on new music that doesn’t remind me of all the mistakes
I’ve made, but why not just get rid all those old tunes
in some kind of ritual burning ceremony. Just like we
did back in the 80’s with all the KISS and AC/DC records
while our pastors and parents cheered us on.
"Send Satan’s music to Hell!", yelled my youth pastor,
with spittle spraying out his mouth. What a crazy, wacky
fun time the 80’s were, ahhhh.

Anyway, here
it is, an old 15 Gig iPod.

I’ll ship
it for $5.00.

I would prefer
to paid with Paypal, but
if you have some other method of transferring
wampum to me, great.