“Welcome to Dick’s. Can I take your order” the heavily tattooed cashier asked.

“You certainly may. I’ll take a Special, a Deluxe, three fries, six ketchups and a large Diet Coke, please” Jerry spoke with a loud and resounding voice. “What do you want Andy?” he asked as he turned around, looking for Andy.

Andy just decided to jump on the band wagon, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake.”

“Do you want any fries or ketchup?” the cashier asked.

“He can have some of mine” Jerry said, chuckling.

The cashier rang up the bill and took Jerry’s money. Dick’s is known for “instant service”, and the cashier had scooped up the burgers, fries and ketchup containers by the time the Diet Coke had been filled. “Thanks for coming to Dick’s” he said as he pushed the two bags towards the men.

Jerry was practically drooling by the time they had seated themselves at a table near the window overlooking the parking lot. He tore open the bag to create a makeshift tablecloth and proceeded to bang the ketchup containers upside down on the paper to release the sweet and sour goodness.

“What’s with the Diet Coke?” Andy asked.

“I like it. Besides, do you want me to have to buy 5XL shirts?” he said, taking a long swig of the sugar free cola.

Andy had very conflicting thoughts on eating food like this having at least tried to be a vegan, but there were to many other things to worry about in life. Sharon was the only reason he stopped smoking, ate only vegetables and recycled, so without her around, what was the point. At least he had kicked cigarettes for good. Smoking pot wasn’t really smoking was it?

“Do you smoke Jerry?”

“I assume you’re asking if I smoke weed, but I don’t.”

“What is your vice, besides greasy fast food?”

“Massively multiplayer online role playing games.”

“Really? Like World of Warcraft?”

“I never got into World of Warcraft. I wanted to do something that would challenge me a little more, so I started playing Yogurting.”

“I’m having a hard time even guessing what that is.”

“It is well, really it was a South Korean RPG that is now defunct except for some servers in Thailand.” Jerry said, looking up wistfully into the middle distance.

“Do you even speak Korean?”

“?, ?? ?” Jerry said in perfect Korean.

“How did that happen?” Andy asked in amazement.

“I had an incurable crush on a girl at the Texaco station in Georgetown. She only spoke Korean, so I started playing Yogurting to learn the language. Once I found out that she also played the game, we teamed up and played together whenever we were online at the same time.”

“That is a very strange story, my friend.”

“Well it’s not all daisies and kimchee. My avatar was a little schoolboy with jet black hair, green eyes and the body of a twelve year old gymnast. Once she figured out who I was in real life I never saw her online again and then she moved to LA.”

“This sounds like a story from The Biggest Loser or something. Why didn’t you follow your dream?”

“Yeah right. It was all a fantasy from the very beginning. I never had a chance with her anyway. Now I have an avatar that is even fatter than I am, just to see if that leads to anything.”

“Well, you’ll have to wait for Chubby Chaser XIV to come out if you keep stuffing yourself with food like this.” Andy said, waving his hand over the assortment of greasy goodies.

“Hummph” Jerry grunted as he started in on his multi bag french fry pile.

Andy finished his food and watched the other people in the restaurant while Jerry wolfed down the remaining burger and fries.

“Let’s hit it, Balls” Jerry said as he gathered up all the wrappers and ketchup containers.

“Seriously, it’s Andy. I can’t believe I let you guys call me that in the first place.”

“We only do it because we care” Jerry said, trying not to laugh.

The two of them had to shoo away some Japanese tourists that were taking close up photographs of the structures on the Battlestar Galactica. As Jerry was backing out of the stall, the group of young men started chanting, “So say we all. So say we all…”

Jerry drove out of the parking lot and back onto First Avenue. Queen Anne Avenue was a one way in the wrong direction until the bottom of the hill, so they had to do some navigating through the rush hour traffic. Once he turned right to start up the hill he punched it, trying to catch some air on the terraced street up the steep hill. They blew past Highland street and had to turn on the next block and backtrack since Jerry was having so much fun with his overpowered starship.